This seems to be a pretty touchy subject among mothers, I heard about it constantly as I browsed websites during my pregnancy, and I thought I was one of the lucky ones who wouldn't experience it....until now. I had read stories of mothers judging, giving unnecessary unwanted advice, and being downright rude and mean to other mothers. This isn't right and it needs to stop. We as women first should always support and lift up one another, not tear each other down. And as mothers we should know the daily struggle of wanting to do right by our children and should take that into consideration before we "help" one another.

This past week I was in a baby clothing store getting some new summer items for Zaylen. He was in his stroller enjoying a bottle and I was talking to the cashier as we were checking out. There was a lady behind us in line who popped up and asked me how old Zaylen was. As you all probably know, checking out with a baby and people talking isn't really the most attentive state you can be in. I was pulling his diaper bag (that contained my wallet) out from under the stroller, the cashier was asking me if I was a member and wanted a discount, you know how they are, all while responding to the lady behind us, "oh he's eleven weeks old." I get the diaper bag up, my wallet out, Zaylen loses his bottle and so I grabbed it and gave it back to him, again all while the cashier is asking for my email and phone number, you know the deal. Well the lady behind me notices that Zaylens bottle isn't all the way propped up and he's getting the littlest bit of air. She goes on to step beside him and starts lecturing me on "how babies can't drink in any air because it messes with their digestive systems and gives them bad gas. Their digestive systems aren't complete yet so they can't handle air like adults. You should really hold that or prop it up better so his stomach doesn't hurt from air bubbles that cause gas. From now on, (yes, this lady had the nerve to tell me from now on) you need to watch his bottles and make sure no air is getting into his system." I didn't even give her the time of day by looking at her. I mumbled "thank you" and quickly grabbed my bags and left. I was so hurt! I called my mom as soon as I was out and just cried! I mean, does not watching my baby's bottle for one minute make me this terrible mother who is incapable of taking care of her son? In that moment I felt so worthless and undeserving to be called a mother. Thankfully my mom calmed me down quickly and reminded me that there are some people who just think they know it all and will jump on any chance they get to put someone else down. Although I had calmed down, I was still upset the whole day and I have thought about it every day since.

Looking back on it I wish I would've told her, "since we are giving out free advice, why don't you touch up your roots and pluck your chin hair." No, I'm kidding, well kind of. But it brought me back to all the stories I had read about mothers putting down other mothers and it broke my heart. Maybe I could've understood the lady pointing out that his bottle had fallen? I'm still not sure how I would've taken that, but what she said to me and the tone she used was unnecessary and very much not needed.  She made me feel like I didn't deserve my son and she made me feel like I was a horrible mother, and I can assure you that will never happen again. If I get that type of advice again I will just smile and move on. My son and I are a perfect match and I will never let anyone make me feel any different about that.

Now family and friends are one thing. I have been very blessed with loving family and friends who have given me great advice for Zaylen and they had the right intentions doing it. My sister and I exchange kid advice all the time. There are some things we disagree on, but we always support each other through it. I am thankful for her advice and I know she is thankful for mine.

The point I'm trying to make is that we all have different ways of raising our children, whether it be cloth diapers and unlimited tv time or disposables and 1 hour of tv daily. We have different feeding times, nap times, toys, learning activities, ect. Does any of that really matter? We mothers are all doing the same job and we are trying to get to the same goal so instead of fighting each other and trying to be "the better mother", let's try being on the same team. When you see a mom who is frantically getting her wallet out trying to pay for a purchase and her sons bottle falls a little, just help out. Being a mother is the hardest job on the planet. On top of all the chores and taking care of our husbands, we have to raise a child. We have to make the hardest decisions and choices for a precious life and hope we made the right ones. We have to nurture and raise a sweet child to become a contributing member of society. We have to protect them with our lives, care for them during diaper explosions and sleepless nights, we get sick when they get sick, and our heart breaks every time we see a tear or hear a fuss. Wow, what an amazingly tough job. We've all been through it and we've all messed up. And if those little mess ups make us bad mothers, then please put me at the top of the list. Ladies and mothers, let's all be a little more understanding towards each other and know that each of us is trying our very best to be the parent our child needs us to be.