A Peaceful Dwelling: January 2015

Friday, January 30, 2015

Pass the Grace, Please?

9:18 AM |

I apologize for being absent the past two weeks. Mercury in retrograde, a teething baby who is on strike against any form of napping, anxiety from too much in my head, and a spell of depression have made the past few weeks really difficult. I haven't wanted to talk to anyone, I've gotten way too upset over things, and my mind really has not been working at it's full potential.

This past week especially, I have felt like such a failure as a wife and mother. I haven't had energy to wake up, fix breakfast, and send my husband off to work. I have gone to bed early, and still not slept good throughout the night. I haven't felt like playing with my son. I even ordered take out one night because I couldn't stand being in the kitchen. Oh, and yesterday I picked up three dozen doughnut holes and ate every single one. Coffee has been my closest friend. The dishes and laundry have been my enemies.

Just one of those weeks.

When I go through tough weeks like that I always hit a low point. I think the doughnuts were the low point this time.

And I need those low points. If it weren't for them, I would stay stuck in ruts like this for who knows how long.

As soon as these low points hit, I realize I need one thing...grace.

The amount of grace God covers us with is still unfathomable to me. I don't understand it. I don't know why. I don't know how. But I am thankful for it. There has been a particular verse that has been running through my mind almost constantly lately, this morning I was reminded of it again.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Wow. God's grace is enough for me. It's all I need. It should be all that I desire. He pours out a heavy stream of perfect grace on us all the time. No matter what we've done, no matter how we act, or what we do or say. His grace is constant and pure.

When I read this verse, I imagine God wanting us to share our weaknesses with others. I think this is His way of revealing Himself to people. I love a good story filled with mercy and grace. The ones where your arms get chill bumps, your heart beats out of your chest, and you know without a shadow of a doubt that it was a God thing. So I'm going to share my weakness with you so that you will know I am not a perfect a person. I am a weak and vulnerable person who fails every day, but I am able to push through because I serve a God who's grace reaches deeper than any mistake I could make.

Some days it is impossible for me to get out of bed. When those rounds of depression hit, they hit hard. The devils most powerful weapon against us is our own mind, and it's hard for me to fight that off. It's really difficult for me. My mind starts worrying, wandering, thinking I'm not good enough. I rethink my marriage. I rethink motherhood. I think about the "what ifs." I doubt how clean the house is or how good the dinner is. I doubt my ability to please my husband and my son. I question every relationship. I question every thing. I don't want to go outside of the house. I don't want to pay bills or talk on the phone with a company. I don't want to do basic chores. I don't want to hear anything, see anything/anyone, or talk to anyone. I still deal with postpartum too. It's something I have to fight off everyday. I have shared my breastfeeding journey before, but in case you missed it, to make a long story short, I could not push through and breastfeed my son. This may not be a big deal to some people, but it's huge to me. I was prepared to breastfeed, I wasn't prepared to not breastfeed. Throw that in with an emergency c-section and not enough time for my hormones to know what's going on...I have a mess. A huge mess in my mind daily. A mess that I can't deal with or sort out yet. But enough of the self talk, I just wanted to open up and let you in on what it feels like for me.

Depression has had control on my life for years and years. Although it has gotten better with more time in between sessions, it's still a reality I deal with occasionally. Please don't get me wrong, I still take care of my family 100%, I promise that, but I am no where close to what I normal am for them. Everyone is fed and clothed and all their needs are met.

This is where grace steps in. Last night when I was eating doughnuts and preparing a dinner I didn't want to cook, my heart got a shaking. I was covered in grace before I was even thought about being conceived. Take a minute to think about that. Grace gave me the option of salvation. Grace gives me the ability to seek forgiveness when I fall short. Grace carries me and sustains me through each and every day. When I was thinking about the amount of grace God covers me in, the depression flew away!! It instantly fled away from my mind! This may sound a bit crazy, but in the middle of cooking I completely changed the dinner plan. I had originally pulled out some stuff from the fridge and cabinets and just put everything in pots to cook. After a few nights of meals like that, a night of take out, and all week eating without my husband, I decided I needed to serve him. I mean, serve my man. That's why I stay at home, right?

So this is what we had instead...

Black truffle and mushroom risotto, sweet potato and green lentil patty topped with goat cheese, fig preserve, and fresh basil, served with a side of Mediterranean asparagus

With God's grace I was able to turn an almost miserable evening into an amazing inside date night for Zachary and I. We enjoyed a great meal together and had a long talk about our next project...The Boobers Go Amish. Just wait for it.

The baby stopped crying like he had been for two weeks straight and he even went to bed a little early. I was able to enjoy a relaxing bath to gather my thoughts and get my mind right. I started a new book I have been dying to read. And even though I didn't sleep well due to the insane amount of wind we had last night, I woke up feeling better and I have had a hold on the entire day so far. All because of grace.

To me, grace meets us where ever we are and picks us up. It sets us on our feet again. It gives us a straight path to walk and holds our hand until we can walk alone again. Grace never goes back to where it found us. That place is gone. Grace keeps us focused on what's ahead.

Something snapped in me last night (as it usually does during those low points) and it made me see that grace is always there, I just have to accept it. I have to ask God to forgive me for everything I've done that displeases Him and then just step out and soak in that constant flowing stream of unconditional grace.

I need grace in order to make it through the day. I have to have forgiveness and love. I have to have support and an anchor. God supplies me with all of that. I love that I received His free gift just by asking. I am the least deserving person of all that He offers, but yet He loves me that much...

xoxo
Cursty

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

I Will No Longer

9:22 AM |

This is a hard post to write. My anxiety is really building up and I'm having a difficult time making words.

I will always stand up for what I believe in and what I know in my heart to be true. I will always be an advocate for causes that are dear to me.

I will continue to speak truth and share my knowledge with other mothers. You cannot and will not shut me down. However, I will no longer discuss my view on vaccines with close minded people.

I know where I stand with vaccines. I have a science degree to show I know what I'm talking about. I have a son to prove I know what I'm talking about. I don't need approval from anyone to know I'm doing the right thing by my family.

I will always be a voice for the voiceless in this debate. Your harsh words and threats will not change my mind.

Motherhood is the toughest job we can have. Decisions between breastfeeding and formula, cloth diapers and disposable, vaccines and no vaccines, are hard and serious decisions. I as a mother have done, and will continue to do, the very best I can for my son. My choices are not up for discussion. They are not up for debate. If you cannot accept that, please excuse yourself and bully someone else. I will no longer be talked down to. I will no longer be pressured.

A real note on vaccines.

As a biologist, I know the science behind them. I know the real science behind them. Not the candy coated "science" the media likes to share with you. Media is owned by who? Check where the money goes and then you will realize whose agenda they are on.

The media will tell you the measles outbreak from Disney came from an unvaccinated woman. Real science will tell you that the MMR vaccine sheds up to 28 days after being injected. It will also tell you that the 2011 New York outbreak started with a fully vaccinated woman. The media will scare you into vaccinating because of these big scary diseases, but it will fail to say that there are just a few hundred cases of measles each year (with no encephalitis or death, unlike the MMR vaccine which has caused many cases of encephalitis and many deaths) and that the United States hasn't seen a death from measles in 12 years.

Some information can be found on the CDC's website and some you will have to dig to find. The CDC tends to say things and then take them back once they realize the amount of money they will lose. For example, when they admitted 98 million people had received a polio vaccine that was contaminated with a cancer causing virus and then took it back and deleted all evidence of ever stating that. Research Dr. Brian Hooker and Dr. William Thompson.

If you genuinely want to discuss the risks and benefits of vaccines and want to understand my point of view, I promise we can have a great conversation. But if you prefer to talk down to me and stick by your out of date and non-researched ways, then please save us both the time.

I research every single little thing that surrounds and pertains to my son and my family. I research the food we eat, where it comes from, and who the parent company is. I research everything there could possible be about the essential oils and cleaners I use. I study almost every item before I purchase it. I am constantly looking up reviews, reading books, going over articles, and asking around when it comes to things my family will be around.

Vaccines are at the very top of that list. They are one thing I have read on, researched, studied for years, written about, talked about, shared about, you name it and I have done it one hundred times over. I know what I am talking about. I know how I feel about them. I know the risks involved. I have studied the diseases they claim to prevent against. I studied these diseases for years, may I remind you YEARS, not just one little google search.

When doctors can hand me a vaccine insert that claims it prevents against a disease 100% (not 74% or 99%), I may consider it for my child. When doctors can show me the back of a vaccine package with zero side effects or at least small side effects like a headache (not encephalitis, seizures, autism, or death) then I may consider it for my child. When I see the day where mothers don't see their perfectly normal child stop talking just hours after a vaccine was given, I may consider it. If there comes a day where the Vaccine Injury Compensation Program doesn't pay out over 120 MILLION DOLLARS each year to families who have had their children disabled or killed after receiving a vaccination, ehh maybe I will consider it. Until then, I will continue to refuse vaccines.

Even in college when I was earning a degree that said I was supposed to agree with and push vaccines, I didn't. How could I when I knew what the ingredients were? How could I when I saw what the ingredients did? Back then, those were just numbers. Now I am a parent. The moment I conceived my son I was given authority over him to make the best decisions for him. I am responsible for protecting him. Those numbers I saw a few years ago have now turned into lives. I am responsible for this precious boy's life.

The ingredients in vaccines don't support life. Formaldehyde, aborted fetal tissue, canine kidney cell tissue, bovine serum, chick embryo cells, and human diploid lung fibroblasts do not support life.

The side effects from these things are real. Sit down with a mother whose son stopped talking an hour after a vaccine was given. Ask her how the pediatrician looked out for her son. Ask her about why she can't sue the doctor who administered it or the pHARMaceutical company who made it because they are extremely legally protected. Ask her about her day. Ask her about her emotions when she looks at pictures of her perfect one year old baby and then looks at her seven year old boy who still can't talk in sentences. These women are real. They are the strongest women I know. They face challenges we will never face, but then are ridiculed and laughed at because they "blame it on the vaccine" instead of coincidence. Shame on you for bullying these women.

I have numerous reasons why my son will not receive another vaccine any time soon, if not ever. The ingredients, side effects, doctors receiving bonuses from big pHARMaceuticals, the vaccine injury compensation program, personally knowing mothers who have children directly affected after receiving a vaccine, vaccine shedding, compromising my sons immune system, and many, many more.

You should not fear my son. You should not fear your child being around my healthy son. After all, if you trust vaccines so much and swear by them protecting your child 100% then you shouldn't worry about your child catching anything from mine. If anything, I'm the one who should be worried about my son being around your freshly vaccinated child.

Let me put this out there...I am not anti-vax. I am pro-choice. I believe every parent has the right to vaccinate or not vaccinate based on what they feel is best for their child. I believe that fully. I am pro-research. I am anti-fear based decisions. Do your research, take as long as you need to with as many resources as you can. I personally love The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears. He gives awesome unbiased research. Make your decision after you have done well thorough research. And know that this does not define you as a parent nor does it mean you can't change your mind later down the road. I am not anti-vax. Who knows, I may change my mind in ten years if circumstances change as I stated before. I am pro-choice. You are the only person in this world who knows what is best for your child. Mothers know best, not doctors.

After this post, I am done with this debate. I will be more than happy to discuss things further with you and answer any questions you have, if and only if, you do your research and come to me with an open mind. I am over the hate. I am done with the empty threats and fear based lies.

I will no longer tolerate close minded people who are set in their ways. I will no longer converse with people who call me names and tell me I am harming my child. I will no longer be available to those who choose anger, adopt fear, and spread hatred. I will no longer deal with unsupportive family and friends who believe our corrupt government knows better for my son than I do. I will no longer subject my family to violence.

Please open your mind and research before you make a decisions about your children's lives. Thank you for your time and understanding.

xoxo

Cursty

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

How I Feed my Family Real Food for $300 a Month

5:51 PM |

Lately I've been asked a lot, "Cursty, how are you able to shop at Whole Foods and only spend $300 a month on groceries?" The answer is very simple...Hard work!

Going from spending $600 a month on take out and junk to spending only $300 a month on real food and cooking at home isn't a simple task. It has taken me almost 3 years and I still learn something new every day. If you are trying to follow a natural path, if you desire to eat real food, or if you just want to feel better about what you feed your family, here are a few steps based on my journey.

Always take baby steps. This process was built by baby steps. A small step here and there really add up. And any positive step is always a step in the right direction!

I had to change my mindset first. Commercials, billboards, ect. are very skillfully designed to program our minds a certain way. After years of being asleep and letting billionaire corporations control my mind, it was a hard step getting it back. I focused on my health, my husband's health, and our future children's health. Who did I want to be? Did I want my husband to be the same? Did I want my children looking up to us? These were all questions that flooded my mind. I didn't want to face cancer. I didn't want my family to see that. I didn't want diabetes or Alzheimers disease. I didn't want a heart attack or lung disease. I didn't want to be overweight. All these diseases and conditions took over my mind and that's when I made the choice to eat healthy.

At first, healthy to me was ordering grilled chicken instead of fried. How embarrassing.

Seriously though, I took small steps like ordering grilled foods and using less butter. Those helped me.

Next I started incorporating more vegetables into our meals. I was open to try things I didn't like before and I discovered I actually love almost every vegetable out there! We also shopped more at the Farmers Market. This was a tough one, but when I would go to Food Lion I wouldn't wander around in the aisles. I stayed clear of the inside aisles and only bought from the walls. I started at produce, went by meats, and ended with the dairy and bakery sections.

Grocery lists and meal planning came after that. I would make grocery lists and only buy what I wrote down. No more looking at the clearance rack or buying a soda at the check out counter. Meal planning was extremely hard at first, but now I can practically do it in my sleep.

On a real note; I've had dreams about what we will have for dinner before. No lie.

Then I became obsessed with what was really in the foods we ate. Even "healthy" foods. This is the big step. And certainly by far the hardest.

The amount of pesticides, genetically modified organisms, antibiotics, carcinogens, hormones, infected pus, artificial coloring, and many other nasty poisons in our food is unfathomable. What's even more mind blowing is that the majority of our food is banned in every other country (even third world countries), but because we care more about what show is being recorded and the next "get rich" scheme, we don't do anything about it. Sad. When I noticed what was going into our food I quickly switched to an all organic, non GMO lifestyle. My health is too important to me. The health of my family is not worth taking a risk on the poison our USDA and FDA feed us.

I cut out the "healthy" foods. I don't buy anything low fat, low sodium, calorie free, any of that. Those words may look nice and make you feel better about what you're buying, but the truth of it is that the fat and sodium they took out of the product is now replaced with even worse ingredients. Or as I like to say, poison.

When we ate meat we were buying it from a local farm. Grass-fed, no antibiotics, no hormones. Meat is meat no matter how it is raised, but I justified what we were doing since we were supporting local farmers and eating a "healthier" meat. A few months ago Zak and I became vegetarians. Not full vegetarians, we finished the few packs of deer we had in the freezer and we eat Atlantic caught seafood every once in a while, but our diet is mainly plant based.

Working through all of these changes definitely took a lot of work when it came to grocery shopping. I went from $600 to blow on food to $300 I had to skillfully plan for food. I had known Food Lion my entire life and all of a sudden I switched to Whole Foods (which is nothing in comparison, WF all the way!). I went from a greasy, fatty, meat eating diet to an almost raw plant based diet. There were hard moments. It was a tough road. It still is a tough road.

So back to our original question, "How am I able to shop at Whole Foods, feed my family real food, and only spend $300 a month?" I just explained the road it took for me to get here so now I'll share the present details.

With $300 per month, I count on $75 per week. Some weeks may be more and some may be less. There are many things I only purchase once a month or every other week so they don't count as every week expenses. I'm going to show you just one week of shopping.

On Saturday or Sunday we usually head out to the Farmers Market to grab some produce. We do most of our shopping here from Spring until Fall. The majority of vendors shut down during the Winter months so there aren't many options.

This is a picture from our Farmers Market trip on Sunday. It wasn't a complete waste of time, but we've found better. We got a few pears, 2 onions, green beans, 5 sweet potatoes, fig jam, and two containers of goat cheese. All of this totaled $26.

The goat cheese and fig jam were worth $21. This isn't an every week expense. A container of goat cheese will last us anywhere from a week to three weeks, it just depends on the mood and what we feel like eating. I would love to say that the fig jam will last a while, but the last container lasted a few days so we will see about that one next week. The vegetables were only $5 though, which is a great deal!

The picture above is my Whole Foods trip for the week. I usually go on Monday, but Zaylen has had a little virus so we've been staying indoors and sleeping. The cost of all this was $61.16. Here I have; ground flaxseed, flax milk, orange juice, 2 cans of garbanzo beans, hummus, jasmine rice (bulk), kidney beans (bulk), shitake mushrooms, 18 count of eggs, ginger and honey crystals, 2 kiwis, an acorn squash, 2 heads of broccoli, a bunch of bananas, 2 green peppers, an eggplant, 2 avocados, lemon, 2 zucchini, and a bunch of carrots. Everything is certified organic and I feel great about what my family will eat this week!

Everything total was $87.16. This is a little over the weekly budget, but there are many items I won't have to buy for another few weeks. It all evens out at the end of the month. There are some months I may go over budget, but that is rare, and when it does happen it's just a little bit. I don't stress over it.

I also want to tell you about the meals we will be having this week. It may look like a bunch of items that don't go well together, but these items will turn into amazing meals! We have a great stockpile and our cabinets are always full so I have plenty to work with.

Vegetable Soup - potatoes, lima beans, corn, mushrooms, carrots, onions

Chickpea Curry with jasmine rice

Small red potatoes, roasted asparagus, roasted carrots

Eggplant Parmesan with noodles

Veggie Chili - kidney beans, peppers, onions, couscous

And one night we were invited to a friends house for dinner, I love those nights!

These meals will feed through Sunday and then Monday brings another shopping trip and meal planning session.

If you noticed that I bought items that aren't listed in any of the meals above, I applaud you for paying close attention! The rest of the food will be cooked for my son Zaylen. For the most part he eats what we eat for dinner, but he has a different breakfast and lunch menu so these items are used for him...

Carrots

Acorn squash

Zucchini

Avocado

Broccoli

Beans

This has been a hard journey, but a wonderful one! I hope this post will answer any questions that you have about how I grocery shop on the budget we have. If you have any further questions please leave a comment and I will be more than glad to help you out!! Eating real food is cheaper than eating convenient food, and it's better for your health! Try giving organic a chance and see how it works for you and your family!

xoxo

Cursty

Sunday, January 11, 2015

The Name Behind the Blog

4:52 PM |

I have yet to take the time to explain the reasoning behind this blog's name. I simply never felt pressed to do so...until now. I've been adding things to the house, moving stuff around, and really just cleaning out and reorganizing. This has made me think about our home and what it means to us (the name behind the blog), so I thought I would take a few moments to explain it.

A Peaceful Dwelling
A journey through marriage, parenthood, and natural living from our little safe haven to yours

When Zak and I purchased our house, we were determined to make it our home. We have never been afraid to hang things on the walls or paint anything whatever color we desire. There are some houses I've been in where everything is perfectly aligned and it seems like there aren't any memories, houses like that don't throw out a homey vibe. I don't feel comfortable in places as such. We have never second guessed what we do in this house.

Our home is our dwelling. We live, reside, continue in a given condition, linger over, and ponder here. We dwell here. Our home is our safety. This is where we find refuge. We come here to escape from life's realness. Our prayer closets are in this place. We share our deepest regrets and wildest dreams here. Zak and I explore each other here; mind, soul and body. We cry together, laugh together, and support each other in this space we call home. We give grace here. Our hobbies and crafts lie here. This is where we come to refresh ourselves. We seek for opportunities and celebrate accomplishments here. Our home is the place in which we dance. This is where our son makes discoveries and milestones. He learns about himself and shares his time here. Our home is where we all make mistakes, seek forgiveness, and experience deep love. We are alive here. We thrive here.

This is our peaceful dwelling. Our home is protected. This is not a place for violence and anger. Angels surround this property and our hearts stay guarded. This is our sanctuary. Our home is intimate. It is sacred. We are free from distractions here. We are at peace here. Unity and accord abound here. Tranquility resides in this place. Negative energy can't cross into these four walls. Spiritual warfare is stopped at the door. In this place we breath fresh pure air. We heal with prayer and nature. Everything has a sense of being. Everything has a purpose here. Our minds are quiet. Serenity overcomes us. We are at peace in our home.

Our home is much more than these four walls built on land. Our home is us. We are our home. We experience the essence of life and we share honesty together in this beautiful place. This is where we come to escape and refresh. Our home is our peaceful dwelling.

This blog is a peaceful dwelling. It is where I share my honest views and opinions. This is where I share my realness. It is where I go to comfort others, escape the harshness of this world, and to bring out creativity. This is where you and I exchange advice on real topics. Together we bond. Together we give grace. Together we cry and laugh and support. This is a place where you can come and share what you need to. You can vent here. You can make discoveries and learn.

This is not a place filled with hatred and anger. This is not a gathering of name calling and belittling. Respect, grace, and forgiveness run freely here. This blog is a sanctuary. We unite together in this sacred area to uplift one another in prayer, drive away negative energy, and encourage each other in our daily lives. You have a purpose here. You have a sense of being here. We will learn and build up from each other.You will find peace here.

The home Zak and I share is filled with a constant stream of memories, grace, and love. We desire to be here and soak all that in. I wanted to create a blog that mirrored what our home is. I want my readers to feel that peace and comfort when they step into this space. You can dwell here with me. We will peacefully dwell here together.

xoxo
Cursty

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

20 Facts About Me

6:17 PM |

Most bloggers get around to this type of post at some point. I thought about writing this a few months ago and still haven't. I figure now would be a great time with it being the new year and with getting a few new followers recently. Well, here you go...20 facts you may not know about me.

1. I am a realist to the core. I've never been optimistic/pessimistic about anything, I have always shot it straight and been very realistic.

2. I have a B.S. degree in Biology. I haven't put it to use yet since I wasn't able to get a job out of college, which I'm now thankful for. Being a stay at home moma is the perfect job for me!

3. I can pick a few tunes on the banjo. I learned to play a few years back and thoroughly enjoyed it, but I lost interest in it and haven't picked it up since then.

4. I'm addicted to curb side pick-ups. There's not much of a better feeling than driving somewhere and finding treasures on the side of the road...for free!

5. From the circle skirts to the homemade meals, I am obsessed with the 1950's housewife. I know I may look like I belong in the 60's, but I would give anything to be a housewife 65 years ago.

6. Cookies are my weakness. Any dessert is mouthwatering, however cookies are where it's at. Warm, soft homemade vegan cookies...yummmmm

7. I love framed pictures! My house is filled from top to bottom with them. Every wall in every room is packed. It's starting to become a problem now that I'm running out of room.

8. I have a hatred towards a lot of sounds. I thought I was the only person to get irritated and have anxiety attacks over sounds until last year when I discovered misophonia. Misophonia is described as "selective sound sensitivity syndrome" and I totally have this. It drives me crazy to hear people smack their food (I personally think this is just rude), I can't let the dogs chew on things in the same room as me, I have to have the tv on high volume when the dogs drink water. I don't like certain packages being opened, the sound of inhaling really bothers me, and much more! I'm telling you, this is a real problem. I hate it, but I can't help it.

9. I have always had amazing self esteem. Now, I've definitely had bad days where I didn't like my body or my hair wasn't doing what I wanted. Overall though, I love myself. I love my post-pregnancy body, I love my nappy hair, and I love who I am inside. I give credit to a wonderful youth pastors wife who wrote me a note with Psalms 139:14 on it when I was 14 years old. I read that and something stuck with me. It has been such an encouraging reminder to love myself and it has gotten me through some difficult times. I still have that card to this day.

10. The Shack by William P. Young changed the way I view God. I first read it in high school and have read it at least 15 times since. This is by far my favorite book! It taught me to see God as a friend instead of a demanding harsh God. Growing up I was shown a God who just says, "No" and "Thou shalt not" and I don't think that's how God wants us to view Him. I still fear him 100%, but I'm able to have a better relationship with Him now. I can have conversations with Him and be real with Him. My relationship with God has been so much better since reading this book.

11. I have trouble blinking. Like, it takes me a minute to blink, after I stop and think about what I have to make my face do.

12. Up until my last year of college, I honestly thought Niagara Falls was out West somewhere. It blew my mind when I learned it was actually in New York and Canada. My mind is still kind of blown away about that.

13. I don't buy paper towels or napkins. They aren't that expensive, but over time it adds up. Instead, I grab a ton of extras while I'm out. If we go to a restaurant I will ask for napkins a few times and take them all home. I'll take napkins from peoples houses if they are left out, other peoples tables in restaurants, ect. I realized how crazy this may seem the night I went to the restroom in Olive Garden twice to stuff paper towels into my shirt to take home. Oops. This goes to say, if you invite me over for dinner, hide ya napkins hide ya towels.

14. I have struggled with anxiety and depression my entire life. However, I am proud to say I have been working hard towards erasing these disorders from my life and one day soon I will be an overcomer!

15. I have 6 tattoos. Even though one was a complete regret, I love them all and think they really add to who I am today.

16. Thrift shops are my junk. Literally. I find almost everything we need at thrift stores. It's very rare that I go to mainstream stores and pay full price for anything. Even when thrifting I usually go on sale days and save even more. This is the only way to live in my opinion!

17. During high school I was in the color guard. Unfortunately I quit right before my senior year all because of some boy (trust me, this is one of my deepest regrets), but I lived for it when I was a part of that. I also played soccer most of my life.

18. I'm a bit of a hoarder. I don't have dead cats under the beds or roaches infesting the house...yet. Totally kidding!!! I will never have a house like that! What I mean is that I save everything. I hate throwing things away. I usually find a way to use something at some point, but until it's used it stays in the garage, which really is packed. I will throw something away only if it absolutely cannot be used as something else later or can't be donated.

19. I have to wake up with my phone battery at 100%. It's as if my entire day depends on it. I have to plug it up and restart the day if I wake up to anything below that 100.

20. Caffeine doesn't have an effect on me. I don't even consume that much caffeine either. I have maybe 3 or 4 cups of coffee and a few pieces of chocolate a week. I don't drink soda or caffeinated teas. Some people have major headaches when they drink too much or too little, but it has never had any effect on me. This gets a little annoying if I really need to stay up or need extra energy, but overall I like it this way.

Did you know all these facts about me or did you learn something new??

xoxo
Cursty

Monday, January 5, 2015

My Love/Hate Relationship with the Word Organic

8:00 PM |

bestfoodfacts.org

I love the word organic. I also hate the word organic. Well, hate is a rather strong feeling, so let's try saying extremely dislike instead. This may sound a bit confusing, but I promise it will make sense if you ride out the rest of this post. I'm going to start with a simple definition...

or·gan·ic

a (1) : of, relating to, or derived from living organisms<organic evolution> (2) : of, relating to, yielding, or involving the use of food produced with the use of feed or fertilizer of plant or animal origin without employment of chemically formulated fertilizers, growth stimulants, antibiotics, or pesticides <organic farming> <organic produce>

b (1) : of, relating to, or containing carbon compounds (2) : relating to, being, or dealt with by a branch of chemistry concerned with the carbon compounds of living beings and most other carbon compounds

There's really one good reason why I love this word. I have peace of mind knowing I'm buying the real deal when it comes to my food. Legally, if a product advertises in any way that it is organic, it means it's really organic. Organic foods and products have the strictest labeling laws within the USDA. So, all this organic talk means...none of the ingredients have any trace of genetically modified organisms (GMOS, or how I like to say it GMNOS), none of the ingredients were grown in sewage sludge (yes this is real ya'll), and none of the ingredients have been treated with ionizing radiation. With all this stuff you would think I was talking about a lab experiment, not our food. There's a national list that specifies what can be labeled as organic, which all organic foods have to pass through. And there's also special agent people who authorize organic foods and ingredients. There's a lot more to it, but trust me, organic labeling is actually one thing our government is doing right.

There are different organic labels; 100% organic, organic, made with organic..., and just listing organic ingredients. Always read labels. I always say if you can't pronounce it, don't eat it. And if you can pronounce it, but don't know what it is or how it's made, don't eat it. Always, always read your labels before purchasing anything!

I prefer 100% organic. This means that the food is real. The food is organic, there were no pesticides used, and even the processing techniques are certified. Organic vegetables and fruits are grown very naturally without any help from pesticides. Boxed items contain ingredients that are all organically certified. For those of you who eat meat, 100% organic means that the animal you are eating was allowed to see sunshine for 120 days, wasn't fed anything containing antibiotics, wasn't given any growth hormones, and there were no animal by-products in the feed. Isn't this reassuring?

Anyways, 100% organic is the way to go. Organic is pretty good as well, this means the same as above, however only 95% of the ingredients have to be organically certified. The other 5% can be non-organic, but they still have to be on that national list as certified non-organic. The other two labels are pretty much the same, they contain organic ingredients, just not enough to have that seal.

So my overall love for this word comes from the satisfaction knowing I'm feeding my family good food. We are vegetarians and although we eat fruits and vegetables from local farmers, I still have to buy packaged foods such as rice and baby snacks, so I love having awesome options!

On the other hand, I really don't like the word organic. Here's why...I don't understand why we have to use this word. Organic foods are natural foods. Why can't we call organic carrots, "carrots?" And then call carrots, "genetically engineered to produce more, sprayed with pesticides to kill weeds and bugs around it, oh genetically modified some more so it won't be affected by the pesticides, grown in 120 days, peeled with chemicals, bathed in chlorine, nutritionally manipulated "carrots?" Think about it.

I don't understand the use of this word at all. I'm lost. You know our food industry is messed up when you have to put a label on naturally growing foods and it's against the law to label foods filled with poison. Literal poison. We didn't become a nation consumed by diabetes, alzheimer's, and cancer because it happened to be a coincidence. Read your labels. We are fed poison.

Another reason I don't like the word organic is because it basically means it's simply a carbon compound. A chemical compound with carbon atoms. In chemistry, "organic" focuses on the carbon content instead of the life behind it, or used to be behind it. This means organic and living things don't have to go hand in hand. When we purchase organic produce we expect that it be a living thing. Science doesn't view it like that. It's not a huge deal breaker for me, however this thought process is always in the back of my mind come grocery day...and it's hard to not think about, so I get irritated at the word.

Overall, any food labeled "organic" is the best you can have. A lot of people fight with the question that organic foods cost too much. While these foods do cost a little extra, it's really not that much. Count how much money you spend on doctor visits, prescription drugs, medicines, insurance. If you put that amount into your grocery budget you would be eating real food and most of your health problems would go away. Personally for me, I end up saving money this way. One of my favorite quotes goes to say, "The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison." Eating real food can seriously heal anything you face. I am all for being proactive instead reactive so I enjoy eating well and taking care of myself instead of having to rely on doctors and medicines. Organic foods are the best foods to consume and they are very affordable if you are willing to budget for them.

I challenge each of you to shop 90% organic the next time you grocery shop. We eat around 90% organic. Almost everything I buy is certified organic, the other 10% I count as eating out during the month. I get all of our groceries at Whole Foods and the Farmers Market on $300 a month. It's very possible! Make a list before you shop, shop sales, buy in bulk, and enjoy this beautiful experience! Try eating 90% organic for one week and see how you feel. I guarantee you will feel better, have more energy, and maybe even some of those health problems will go away. You have nothing to lose, go ahead and try it out! And if you do accept this challenge, please write back to me and let me know the amazing benefits you got out of it!

xoxo
Cursty

Friday, January 2, 2015

Hello 2015!

7:32 AM |

Another year has gone by entirely way too quick. Why does time seem to fly by faster as you grow older? I remember being 13 and wishing I could get to 16, then when I was 18 I couldn't wait to be 21. Time was very slow then and now it just washes away right in front of me. It's extremely difficult to comprehend that I gave birth to my son this year. It feels as if it was yesterday, but he's almost 10 months old now. This year really went by.

Although 2014 was such an amazing year filled with wonderful blessings, The Boober household has great anticipations for 2015. The New Year always brings a fresh start to life.

Zachary and I set a few goals and resolutions last New Years and I want to chat about those for a minute and see if we accomplished them. Zak had two goals he wanted to achieve this past year; learning the art of butchering and picking up his dirty clothes. The butchering thing was a bust due to us becoming vegetarians. Those things just don't mesh well together. However, he has done an exceptional job at putting his dirty clothes in the hamper or the laundry room. I couldn't be prouder!

I made the resolution to stress less this year. Guess what? I did it!! After years of struggling, I finally received a diagnosis of anxiety and depression. Things actually made sense after that. I was given medication and that has helped tremendously at times! I don't enjoy taking synthetic medicine and I firmly believe Mother Earth holds what we need to heal ourselves so I embarked on a quest to learn how to holistically calm my nerves. Lavender has been a wonderful tool in this process! I'm still researching and testing herbs so please let me know if you have any suggestions! I also started therapy in which I was taught many techniques and tools on how to lessen the anxiety. It's amazing how well those have worked too! Overall, looking back on last year, I am very proud of myself for coming this far! I still have work to do before I completely overcome this, but I have made a huge improvement in the past year.

Once again, we have made more resolutions to accomplish this coming year. Instead of just having them on a piece of paper we decided to design a "Vision Board." This board will allow us to see the things we want to do on a daily basis. I think this will actually help push us and encourage us to have a stronger drive to achieve our goals.

Zak and I have a few shared goals between us and then we have separate dreams we wish to bring about. Together we will intensely seek after God! This past year has thrown us many trials and we barely made it out alive. We had tough struggles in our individual lives, in our marriage, parenting, finances, health, you name it and we faced it. And I hate to admit it, but we didn't include God in some of those struggles. We thought we knew best. We also found out we in fact didn't know best. We are determined to not have another year like that. My husband and I are both going to search after God like our lives depend on it. Well, they actually do. We are going to hold each other accountable and get back to the deep and intimate relationship we had with God when we first started dating. Wow, things were powerful then!

Together, we also want to eliminate our debt (everything excluding the mortgage.) I'm not putting a number on it, but we have a good amount. Last night we adjusted the budget and we are tackling this debt monster with every extra penny we have. It will be a hard year, but we will have every cent paid off by December! We cut up the cards, set a rigorous budget, and had real prayer together and we know this is our year to free ourselves from this slavery.

We also have made a pact to reduce, reuse, and recycle better. This includes limiting ourselves to one trash bag per week. Yeah you read that right, one. We plan to reduce by not buying as much. I will make more of a conscious effort to bring my bags when I shop and actually use them. Most of the time I have them with me and then leave them in the car. I reuse/recycle the bags, but I could be better about simply reducing the amount I have. As our family grows, we are realizing that the house doesn't grow with us. Our house is the perfect size for us so we are even further realizing we have too much stuff. I see a yard sale and some donations in the future. We have to cut down and reduce the amount of possessions we have.

Our pact includes reusing items. I recycle plastic containers, jars, things of that nature, however I should be reusing them. I always need small bowls for mixing herbs or bath salts in and I have to resort to using my kitchen bowls, so I will make more of an effort to save those and reuse them. There are other small things we throw out that can be saved and used also. We do a great job at recycling, but I will say we can do a better job at composting. Some nights when we take the trash out it is super easy to throw a few days of scraps in with the trash and just take it out. This will never happen again. We realized how much precious soil we could have had this past week when we mixed the compost into our raised bed. All in all, we will do a much better job at reducing, reusing, and recycling this year.

Two others things we have a vision for together are having awesome gardens (fall and winter) and finally starting up Food Not Bombs. Last year our garden did fairly well. We made some mistakes, we have learned from those, and we will create an even better garden this year. A winter garden is a must this year also, we are really missing out on some great food right now. If you haven't heard of Food Not Bombs, I highly encourage you to research it. This is such an encouraging cause that is near and dear to our hearts. It is basically just a free warm meal every week for anyone who needs it. The food is free (it comes from what would be thrown away at the end of the day by restaurants) and is prepared by volunteers. This movement was created to feed hungry people, stop waste and wars, and to change this society. It's an awesome way to protest wars and military spending. Now before the firing squad comes out, I want to address something. I support our troops 100%. I am very grateful for the men who fought and gave their lives so that I could have the freedom I have today. I don't, however, support our governments selfishness when it comes to war and military spending. We don't send our troops to other countries to fight for our "freedom" anymore. Those days are long gone. We send them to countries to protect oil and to show off our power. Truth. And I don't care how war hungry this country is, there is absolutely zero sense in spending 737 billion dollars each year on our defense. There is zero need for that while things like poverty and world hunger still exist. I'm not trying to start something so we will move on...

Zachary first discovered this movement in a book he read and became very interested in it. We talked for a while and decided to embark on setting one up in High Point. The past few months have been a blur and we haven't been able to set up anything so we definitely want to make this a priority this year.

Some of the resolutions I am making are as follows; blogging at least two times per week, waking up at/before 6 am at least five times a week, setting up my Etsy shop again, and writing an ebook. In order to take my blog to the next level I have to get my posts up on a schedule, they have been too sporadic lately. Waking up is hard for me some times. Some mornings I can get up at 5 and be ready for the day. Others I sleep in until Zaylen wakes up at 9. I always feel best when I wake up and start the day right, so one of my goals is to wake up and start my day at least five times a week.

I used to have an Etsy store set up to sell my scarves. Unfortunately I didn't sell any, but now that I've got a good amount of bath products started I want to re-open the store and get those on there. This year I also want to write an ebook. Since becoming a vegetarian I have had to get creative in the kitchen and come up with some recipes that fit our lifestyle. This has led to some unique recipes and I want to share those with other people. Instead of putting everything on the blog I thought I could write a simple ebook and try to make a little money off of it. (To put towards debt of course.)

The goals Zak has this year are pretty good ones. He wants to gain 5 pounds. Last year he lost over 40 pounds with his sickness and it has been very tough gaining any of it back so I think 5 is a good amount to work for. He also wants to stock up on ammo and target shoot twice a month. The way gun rights are going away, it's going to be hard buying ammo one day. We both want to be as prepared as possible in the event that something happens. I don't think we will have to worry as much once we are tucked away deep in the woods of New Hampshire, but you never know what will happen and when. He also wants to set up a two month supply of food. In the pantry right now we have about a week of food. Which is okay, but if anything were to go down we wouldn't have time to stop by Whole Foods. My husband wants to make sure we are taken care of and protected. I love that these are his goals for the year. It's the real things like these that give me comfort in knowing I have an amazing man.

Well there you have it. We have our Vision Board up and running and we are beyond excited to see what we will accomplish this year! Here are a few pictures from the past week I hope you enjoy...